Feeling other people’s emotions wholeheartedly

From:Voice of Longquan     Author:Voice of Longquan     Time:2016-08-02 18:35:41
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A little more care, a little more attention to others, a little less of egoism, the interpersonal relationships will surely improve.

In modern society, people usually are extremely busy working and studying.  We care little about others except for those with whom we are close. Without our being aware of it, the psychological gaps between us and others are growing larger. People around us appear cold and selfish, with no caring at all. We can hardly find anyone to talk with and consequently we begin to repress our feelings, staying alone and unhappy. All these problems are actually caused by us. How can we ask for a payback in return if we do not give first? The situation will improve if we start to feel others emotions wholeheartedly.

Others’ eye contact, facial expressions, postures and tone of voice are suggestive of their present physical and mental state: good or bad, well or ill. After knowing the state, we need to find out the causes of their emotions. We should first check whether or not the negative emotion is a response to our behavior. Usually we are unaware that others may become irritated just because of our carelessness and dullness. For example, entering a room without knocking at the door and then forgetting to close it when leaving; splashing water onto other people’s faces after washing one’s hands; moving a chair carelessly and producing screeching sounds; going upstairs and downstairs with heavy steps; walking by shuffling; closing the door noisily after using a washroom; talking loudly in the corridor.Although all these things seem trivial, they often produce negative emotions.

Without consideration for others when we do or say things, we will distress others in a worse way, such as, sharp words, sarcastic tones, disdainful eyes, cold look, rude action, indifferent attitude, jealous mentality, etc., all of which are like invisible sword. As everyone of us has experienced the pain of being hurt and the happiness of being cared, we should take others' emotion on as our own. We understand that interpersonal relationships suffer when trouble or unhappiness comes to them.

If others' opinions are wrong or they treat us rudely, we first of all must guard against getting angry or hatred. Instead we should  take their emotions on as ours and we may then find out that they are tortured by negative emotions which go far beyond peace and happiness. If we stir up a dispute, we simply add insult to injury or punish us for others' mistakes. If unfair treatment does not matter much, we’d better accept it, tolerate it and wait for a proper time for a well-intentioned conversation. Both sides will surely get into trouble if no compromise is reached. Of course being tolerant does not mean that we encourage uncourteous treatment. If worse effects would be expected by compromise, we must take proper countermeasures, but still, on the premise that our action is not triggered by anger or hatred.

If we feel certain that we are not reponsible for the negative emotions of other people, we still can feel what they truly need with heart. By feeling what others feel, we can bridge the psychological gap. At the very least, a sincere compassion and loving kindness can psychologically bring relief to others' pains.

A little more care, a little more attention to others, a little less of egoism, the interpersonal relationships will surely improve.

Tags:communication, interpersonal relationship,concern, care

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