Bring up children with proper methods (II)

From:Voice of Longquan     Author:Voice of Longquan     Time:2016-08-21 17:24:23
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As parents, we should focus on growing the virtues and wisdom of the child instead of the mark of effect and the pursuit of external achievements.

Q: Hello, Master! I am fortunate to hear a senior practitioner share her experience in Longquan Monastery, which deeply touched me. We plan to study your bookUnderstanding life together. I have a problem that I always repeat mistakes, especially when educating child. My child doesn’t study hard, which makes me very anxious. Could you please tell me if any good method can help my child focus more on study? I hope to change with my child together. Thank you!

A: From our own experience, we can tell growth is not an easy thing. So, don't worry too much about your child. Only when you set aside all worries first, can you help your child. You can bring your child to Longquan Monastery to attend a Dharma Assembly when you have a chance.

Q: After learning Buddhist teachings, I know how important the traditional Chinese culture is to a child’s moral value that I am now passing on to my child. However, my family, especially my parents, have deep-rooted wrong views and habits. They spoiled and influenced my child with wrong thoughts, information and disorderly daily habits. They didn’t realised it. I then kept teaching them about Buddhist teachings and persuading them to fulfil virtuous deeds. They were aware of their mistakes but felt difficult to correct; or in another case, they knew what was good but couldn't do it correctly. What should I do?

A: So we should work even harder to purify and change the family's collective bad karma with our good karma. Let good change start with yourself instead of others. 

Q: Hi Master! My child will take the college entrance examination. By chanting what sutras can bless him? 

A: Keep an ordinary mind.

Q: Master, a question to you again. After my daughter went to university, she asked me to work harder to make a name for myself in order to help with her future development. In recent years, I have been enjoying a simple and easy life, without considering her future, so I feel guilty for that. I don’t need to work hard for fame and wealth for myself, but how about her needs? Master, I look forward to your advice. Is this another kind of attachment for simple life?

A: what is a true bright future? Everyone seeks for happiness which is not, however, equivalent to fame, fortune and social status.

Q: I am a vegetarian and I often chant Buddha. Except my child, I can stay detached to many things. While I spent a lot to take care of my child but gained little.  What a disappointing result! I knew the old saying "The children have their destined fortune and blessing." I wanted to give up sometimes, but can I really do so? Bothered as I am, I am wondering if it is due to the karma of my previous life?

A: As parents, we should focus on growing the virtues and wisdom of the child instead of the mark of effect and the pursuit of external achievements. In addition not to ignore the inner heart cultivation, we should be patient and tolerate to our children, appreciate their advantages, and not persist in finding faults. 

Q: Master, I recently took a vacation with my child. During our trip, I heard many people saying,"the society had no moral compass." I was upset about it. What should and can I do?

A: By yourself to start with, and so forth from the depths of your heart.

Tags:children, grow, proper methods

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